What is Grief?

More on grief counselor in Brea.

“I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.

― J.R.R. Tolkien

Grief is something that we will all experience one day or another. It is a very normal process and should not be looked down upon.

We tend to connect these feelings to the death of a loved one.

Many feel grief when a close friend moves away or stops talking to them. Others experience it when they get fired or laid off from work. How could grief be all of these and they didn’t involve anyone passing away? Honestly, it’s because many haven’t defined grief correctly.

Defining Grief

Think about what all the scenarios above had in common. A loss of a loved one, a loss of a job, and a loss of companionship. Therefore, the root cause of grief is loss.

From losing a game to losing a significant other, we’ve all lost something. The differences though is how important what we lost was.

For example, you may get sad if you lost your child’s baseball glove, but you’d grieve if you lost your child. Notice that both examples included something lost, but the intensity was defined by the degree of importance (child’s glove vs. child).

Different levels of maturity will also define how one processes grief. For example a child may grieve over their dead gold fish that they owned for a matter of hours, where the parent may complain saying, “Why haven’t you thrown the gold fish away yet?”

Grief and its course

Are there time limits on grief? How long should I grieve? What if I don’t feel like I’m grieving? What if I don’t feel like I have to grieve?

Each person will express grief in their own way and in ways they’re comfortable with. There aren’t time limits on how long one should grieve as long as the idea that “Life still goes on” is understood. This is not to be insensitive to your loss, simply the reality. 

Grieving processes will differ and could be substantially cut down with a grief counselor. This process will require that you are open, patient, as grieving doesn’t finish overnight, strong because you are facing something you don’t want to face, and supported with people such as family, friends, and counselors. 

A grief counselor will help you through this time of trouble. The friends and family will help with the grieving process to help ease your pain, but the grief counselor will help you get through and help you heal from the pain as the grief tends to bring disorientation to your life’s circumstances.

If you or someone you know might be suffering from grief, contact us now so we can talk about our Grief Counseling in Brea or Loss Counseling in Brea.

If you contact us now, your 1st session is free!

What do you have to lose?

 

Finally Alive Counseling is located in the beautiful city of Brea, CA.
Individual Counseling and Couples Counseling located near Fullerton, Placentia, Yorba Linda, La Habra, Rowland Heights, Anaheim, and Anaheim Hills.

What is Grief?

5 Reasons why you're going to fail

In life we will go through many trials, but some people have a better way of handling it. In counseling I’m able to see them all and have begun to see a pattern of why some people will always be a failure.

Here are five:

1. The lacking planner

We’ve heard the saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail”. That couldn’t be truer in some couples counseling sessions.

Many times I’ve asked couples what their goal in counseling is and they both give me a blank stare. It’s obvious that having a goal was never a goal.

2. The Articulate Critic

Have you ever experienced a person who was never happy? You know the one that always has an excuse or has an opinion about everything.

How about those that are impossible to please. You go to a restaurant, they order a burger, and give the waiter specific instructions on how to cook the meat (as if the cook has never done this). Of course, when they get their food, they’re disgusted and outraged on why they didn’t cook it right.

Well, I call this person the Articulate Critic. I have been criticized for my clothes and other facets. Why doesn’t it drive me crazy? Because they’re scared, so their defenses are on high. It’s a protecting mechanism, but more importantly, they have created a path out of counseling.

This critic will articulate everything that is horrible about you to avoid the real problem, themselves. Some will even stop coming to counseling because, “If the counselor was closer to my work”, “If the counselor was younger/ older so they can relate to me”, or “If the counselor wouldn’t wear that, I could take them more seriously”. Very articulate, but no substance to the argument.

3. The Hopeless romantic

“But we were made for each other.” “God put this person in my path because…” and we can go on forever.

I call these Hopeless Romantics because everything sounds like a movie quote or some novel. Here’s the issue with this; their sources are movies and novels, not real life!

4. The Webmd professor

I know we all go online to self (mis)diagnose and as we do that, we begin to learn new terms and definitions. Then we also like to take this (mis)information and pretend we’ve just magically bypassed any type of formal schooling because we’ve read the entire paragraph which makes us experts.

OK, you see the satire, but it doesn’t make it any less true. We’re all guilty of this and that becomes our folly. As great as these websites are, they’re in no way a formal diagnosis and can lead you down a worse path.

5. The Love Doctors groupie

There are some wonderful books out their about any subject under the sun. The only problem is that many books are like conversations that you walked in on. You don’t know how or why it started. Sure, you can get the gist of it, but many times, you miss an important point, and now your misunderstanding has given birth to a rumor.

I highly recommend reading books, but don’t forget most self-help books are written to a general audience, thus some important aspects may not be mentioned or may be completely ignored.

I hope you see that this isn’t meant to put people down, but rather educate you, the reader. Life can be intimidating and the key is to face the facts and prevent being a loser.

If you or someone you know might be suffering, contact us now so we can talk about our Individual Counseling in Brea or Couples Counseling in Brea . 

If you contact us now, your 1st session is free!

What do you have to lose?

 

Finally Alive Counseling is located in the beautiful city of Brea, CA.

Individual Counseling and Couples Counseling located near Fullerton, Placentia, Yorba Linda, La Habra, Rowland Heights, Anaheim, and Anaheim Hills.

5 Reasons why you're going to fail

Affordable Counseling for College Students

College Students can now receive Affordable Counseling!

Finally Alive Counseling is happy to announce an affordable alternative to counseling for college students. You, as a college student, will receive the same help and care any of our other counselee’s receive at a discounted price.

If you are suffering with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or anger, individual counseling is available for you!

If you are experiencing problems with your relationships, we’re also offering couples counseling for college students.

The care that you need is here and now, it’s affordable. You have no more excuses!

Current Schools added!
Counseling for Cal State Fullerton | Counseling for Fullerton College | Counseling for Mt. Sac | Counseling for Cal Poly Pomona | Counseling for Biola University | Counseling for Devry University

If you don’t see your school listed, please call us anyway.

Contact us now! (626)244-8113

Finally Alive Counseling Ministries in Brea, CA, 92821. Minutes away from Fullerton, Placentia, Yorba Linda, La Habra, Rowland Heights, Anaheim, and Anaheim Hills.

Remember, your first visit will be complimentary.

Affordable Counseling for College Students

Finally Alive Counseling will be at The Brea Wellness Festival 2014

Wellness Festival 2014

Finally Alive Counseling is pleased to announce that they will be attending the Wellness Festival in the beautiful city of Brea on September 27, 2014. They will be passing out information on our individual counseling and couples counseling/ marriage counseling services. Come by and say, “Hi!” They’ll be located at space 62.

<Shared from the Wellness Festival>

The City of Brea’s Wellness Festival

Wellness Festival

The City of Brea proudly presents the return of its Wellness Festival on Saturday, September 27 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Brea Community Center. The event will showcase a variety of specialties, free medical screenings, cutting edge fitness trends, alternative and holistic medicine, free massages, heart healthy food samples and a Zumba Jam at 2 p.m. Flu shots will also be available for $15.

Admission and parking for the event are FREE.

Wellness Festival Exclusives
Come to the Wellness Festival to purchase these sensational savings! Save up to 25% off on select fitness programs. From a 3-month fitness pass for only $60 to TRX, Boot Camp, massage and more. They’re only available for purchase at the Wellness Festival.

Click here to download and print your coupons.

 

Finally Alive Counseling will be at The Brea Wellness Festival 2014

Why Do I Always End Up in Bad Relationships?

Bad Relationships

Whether it was a friend or our own, we’ve seen bad relationships time after time. It’s almost paradoxical how this happens. You know when you see a friend in a horrible relationship where there’s more giving then receiving or even some who are in a terribly abusive one and you just can’t figure out why they won’t leave. You think, “at least get some help or something!”, but of course they don’t and they stay miserable, eventually break up or divorce.

Jack and Jill’s relationship…

Jack goes to work and gets yelled at by his boss. Jill works and takes care of the kids, yet Jack is always finding something else to get mad at. Finally, one day Jack comes home after a fight at work. Jill has dinner prepared and Jack goes into a tirade because the food wasn’t precisely the temperature he likes it. He also adds that Jill always overdoes the steamed vegetables and insists that she go learn to cook from his mother.

Jill now begins to stew on the fact that she’s given her all into this relationship. She has worked because Jack’s career isn’t making ends meet, she’s helped raise two wonderful kids, and still makes time to get her chores that Jack promises every week to do. She’s now furious and feels lost and alone. She says, “He’ll never appreciate all I do for him.”

I’ve seen many come into couples counseling/ marriage counseling and ask, “Why do I stay or go back into bad relationships?”

A healthy relationship has many properties, but one of the main characteristics is freedom.

When you’re in a relationship, there must be freedom to act, do, or feel. It’s when you can’t do or talk about certain things that begins to hinder the relationship. We’ve all seen or experienced feeling suffocated in a relationship. This is because the freedom is limited, now joy is depleting, thus you are now stuck in a stagnant relationship.

When I talk about being free, I don’t mean free in the sense of becoming promiscuous or taking up a hobby in drug paraphernalia. That would be a lustful freedom, not loving. An individual must feel free to talk about most subjects, and have a mutual agreement on most things.

Why don’t all couples want to be free?

Usually, it’s not the couple who chooses to live restrained, it’s an individual. Perhaps they have felt abandoned, misunderstood, or rejected. Now they are suffering by guarding themselves rather than talking to an individual counselor and dealing with the problems. This person will be in a downward spiral for the rest of their lives because they choose to live in shackles called “lies”, unless they seek the proper help.

Here’s a dead giveaway of a relationship in shackles: abnormally strict rules and “we don’t talk about that”. The strict rules keeps things from getting too exciting so nothing unexpected can happen. “We don’t talk about that” is just that. We don’t mention those things because it makes the other person uncomfortable, so we can never get it resolved.

Some prefer shackles over being alone. This is why we see so many people living in abusive relationships. They have been manipulated into believing that being alone will hurt more than the abusive relationship. What an absolute lie!

We all deserve to be happy, but only if we are willing to face the facts. It’s possible to have good, happy, healthy relationships. You just have to reach out to someone who will help.

If you or someone you know might be suffering in their relationship, contact us now so we can talk about our Couples Counseling in Brea or Marriage Counseling in Brea. 

If you contact us now, your 1st session is free!

What do you have to lose?

 

Finally Alive Counseling is located in the beautiful city of Brea, CA.

Why Do I Always End Up in Bad Relationships?

Can addiction be treated?

Treatment for Addiction

One of the hardest things a person with an addiction must do is admit. Admitting to their problems, their faults, and most importantly, that they are addicted. Once this has been established, now they must get the appropriate help that’s required. You can find all sorts of different ways of getting help from personal therapy to group therapy.

Depending on your circumstances, what you’re addicted to and how long, will dictate what sort of treatment you need from the following:

Addiction classes

You can find classes that teach you about different substances. This knowledge can be a bit of a wake up call for the user as to see what will happen to them, their body, and their lives if they continue on their path. This could be more suitable for youth and those who have become addicted more recently.

Treatment Centers

Treatment centers for addiction may have an inpatient option where you can stay there. It’s like a hotel to get sober and relapse prevention. They tend to have 24 hour staff to meet your any needs. It all depends on how much, how long, and what level of addiction one may be at.

Group Therapy

These are you Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. This type of therapy tends not to have an inpatient option. Typically, you will have a group of people with similar addictions come into a room to learn and share their experiences in life and their addictions. This is quite an eye opener and comforting for those who choose to join it as you no longer feel like you’re the only one going through this alone.

One on One Addiction Counseling

This tends to be one of the best options. An addiction counselor will be trained to help you with what you need and how you need it. Our treatment for addiction takes into account the persons innate nature, character, and habits to give the counselee a “full treatment”. Different people have different triggers to relapse and we take those into consideration too.

If you or someone you know might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

Similar topics:

What is an addiction? | The fine line between addiction and habit | What are some signs of addiction? | Are there risks to addiction? | What could be the causes of addiction? | Can my addiction be diagnosed? | Criteria for Substance Abuse for Dependency | Can addiction be treated?

Can addiction be treated?

Can my addiction be diagnosed?

How can you diagnose addiction?

Continued from, “What could be the causes of addiction?”

Many times, to diagnose addiction, the addict will rarely come forward on their own. In most cases, a family member or a close friend will be the one to confront the addict. This is because the addict tends not to see what they do as a problem and almost always believe they can stop whenever they want. Here are some important steps one can take to diagnose addiction and finally treat the addiction.

1. See A Doctor

Once the said addict has been confronted, it is usually best to see a doctor to diagnose addiction as they can check the addicted persons vitals.

The doctor will ask many questions like how often they use a substance, if they feel ill, or if they think their addiction is a problem. This is an important step because if the person suffering addiction has exhausted their body from perhaps a substance, then the doctor/ physician will see to it that the addicted won’t get worse. Blood tests maybe necessary to check if any substance is still in their system.

Most addicts will tend to suffer from kidney failure, liver problems, malnutrition, or dehydration. If the doctor believes that there is a case for addiction, then they will suggest accordingly. Nicotine addiction can usually be diagnosed by a general practicing doctor, but more sever drugs will be diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

2. See a drug and alcohol abuse counselor

Once the addiction has been diagnosed, you will want to see the best drug and alcohol abuse counselor that you can. We suggest that you choose wisely as some drug and alcohol abuse counseling methods are put together as a “one size fits all” approach. This means that this type of addiction treatment will not take your inborn nature, mind, thoughts, beliefs, character, or life experiences into consideration. A more holistic approach that we use would be recommended over any other counseling that you’d find that use some sort of manual or book for you to go along with or free drug classes.

In some cases when the addiction is heavy or for a very long period of time, the addicted may have to see a psychiatrist. This is because an addicts mind or chemical balance may be so altered that quitting a substance cold turkey may be more dangerous. The diagnosis may be to put them on certain prescriptions to wean them off of the substance.

Please click if you would like to know more about Criteria for Substance Abuse for Dependency.

3. Join a group

Finding a drug and alcohol abuse counselor is necessary and some will find the added bonus of sharing and hearing stories very informative. That in itself has some healing benefits as the addicted will see that they truly aren’t alone with their addictions and will feel even feel refreshed after some sessions.

For those suffering from addiction to alcohol (alcoholism), please visit Alcoholics Anonymous to find local chapters near you to attend.

For those suffering from addiction to narcotics, please visit Narcotics Anonymous to find local chapters near you to attend.

For those affected by someone else’s addiction, lease visit Nar-Anon Family Groups to find local chapters near you to attend.

4. Join a Church

Many will scoff at this, but the true issue isn’t a substance problem; that is just the cause of a deep soul problem. An unhealthy soul will effect your mind and show in the body. Find a local church or contact us so we may help direct you.

If you feel like you or someone you know might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

The next section we’ll answer the question, “Addiction treatment”

Can my addiction be diagnosed?

Criteria for Substance Abuse for Dependency

Criteria for Drug Dependence

To diagnose addiction, the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), a manual published by the American Psychiatric Association, gives us some criteria.

Criteria for Substance Abuse

A pattern of substance use leading to significant impairment or distress, as manifested by one or more of the following during in the past 12 month period:

1. Failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, home such as repeated absences or poor work performance related to substance use; substance-related absences, suspensions, or expulsions from school; neglect of children or household


2. Frequent use of substances in situation in which it is physically hazardous (e.g., driving an automobile or operating a machine when impaired by substance use)


3. Frequent legal problems (e.g. arrests, disorderly conduct) for substance abuse


4. Continued use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems (e.g., arguments with spouse about consequences of intoxication, physical fights)

Criteria for Substance Dependence

Dependence or significant impairment or distress, as manifested by 3 or more of the following during a 12 month period:

1. Tolerance or markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or desired effect or markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of substance


2. Withdrawal symptoms or the use of certain substances to avoid withdrawal symptoms


3. Use of a substance in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended


4. persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use


5. Involvement in chronic behavior to obtain the substance, use the substance, or recover from its effects


6. Reduction or abandonment of social, occupational or recreational activities because of substance use


7. Use of substances even though there is a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance

 

 

If you feel like you or someone you know might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

Criteria for Substance Abuse for Dependency

If the music's too loud, you're too old!

This morning as I was driving to work, a car pulled up next to me with music blaring. I looked over at the car and noticed all the windows were closed. If it was uncomfortable for me to hear this on the outside of that car, how uncomfortable was it for the person on the inside? You may argue this and say it’s personal preference, but let’s really examine this for a moment.

I remember when I was younger living by the motto, “If the music’s to loud, you’re too old.” I even recall getting upset many times because “MAX VOLUME” was just not loud enough for me. Being young seems to have it’s own set of rules; rebelling, exploring things in life, etc.

I’m not arguing that we all listen to our music at  volume level 2, nor am I saying that there aren’t certain songs, moments, or days that deserve some loud, even obnoxious volumes to come out of your car (as long as you are not so impaired to drive safely of course). So, maybe the better question is once you’ve passed your young rebellious phase in life, why is the music still so loud all the time?

Everyone I can think of listens to some sort of music.

Besides enjoying it, music itself has therapeutic qualities. You can be in a bad mood and a couple songs from your favorite genre(s) can lift your spirits or just plain make you smile again. There are even songs that are appropriate for certain moments. Do you remember listening to songs like “Love stinks” when you had a crush or went through a bad break up? It kind of helped for the moment, didn’t it? Those situations are fine and healthy for you. It’s when music has become your “out” to dealing with life’s problems.

I had gone through a phase in my life where music was basically my drug of choice. Sounds silly, but when you no longer deal with the crisis and resort to anything, be it drugs, food, or something as silly as music, you have just attempted a type of “escapism”. You’ll notice people looking for distractions to relieve themselves from life usually through some sort of entertainment or even a fantasy (Facebook anyone?).

Escaping for a little isn’t bad as one of my points in the article 3 Great Ways to Relieve Stress is to take a mini vacation, or in other words, escape. Again, the point here is not the music, not the volume, not even escaping. The issue is when and how much.

So here’s the real question: If you’re constantly listening to music at an very loud volume, what problem(s) or who’s voice are you really trying to escape?

If you feel like you or someone you know might be suffering, contact us now.

If the music's too loud, you're too old!

What could be the causes of addiction?

The Causes of addiction

Continued from our last article Are there risks to addiction?

Medical studies have shown how our brains react to different things. Different feelings result in different ways of dealing with matters. What we will concentrate on is how the brain reacts to pleasure. This will give us clues to the causes of addiction.

If you were to ask anyone which they’d prefer, pleasure or sorrow, you know the answer would be pleasure. Our brains always seek pleasure first, good over bad, and happy over sadness. Why wouldn’t it? After all, this is what aids a long, happy, and fulfilling life. Nobody can argue that, but can that be one of the causes of addiction? In a nutshell, yes. Since we will constantly seek pleasure, we can all be susceptible to addiction. The difference is how we manage pleasure and especially sorrow. This will make all the difference between the one who gets drunk once or twice verses the one who becomes an alcoholic.

Getting on your nerves

Believe it or not, “pleasure” is not just an emotion, but is the result of your nerve cells reacting to a substance in your body. Eventually these nerve cells can be altered depending on the frequency and dosage. The nerve cells can then become dependent on the substance and begins to crave more.

This begins the downward spiral for those who cannot manage sorrow well. They will struggle to fix this the least and will usually increase the dosage. This is why we highly recommend Anxiety/ Stress Counseling or Depression Counseling before you put yourself in this kind of risk.

As most addicts will tend to chase the feeling of pleasure that they would initially feel, they will tend to increase the dosage which leads to two conclusions. First, the increased dosage will no longer have the same effect and will actually begin to crave the substance just to feel normal. This is addiction. The second is death. Some may take such a high dosage that it will kill or paralyze them. It is a lose- lose situation. The causes of addiction are very dangerous and the longer one stays addicted, the worse an individual tends to become.

If you feel like you or someone you know might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

The next section we’ll answer the question, “How do you diagnose addiction?”

What could be the causes of addiction?

Are there risks to addiction?

What Are The Risk Factors For Addiction?

Just to clarify, a risk factor (or risks to addiction) is something that raises the chance of a person beginning or continuing a trend toward advancing or establishing a condition or disease. For example, many tests have shown that lung cancer is a risk factor for long term cigarette smokers.

Addiction has no regard for people. It could happen to anybody regardless of their status, age, or sex, but there are some instances that the chance of addiction can increase.

Temperament

Any person could try a substance, but certain temperaments are prone to addiction. Many times, counselors will treat their patients incorrectly just because they don’t know what their temperament is. This is why it is vital to have a temperament counselor help you.

Their are others who may not have the “addiction temperament”, but do have the temperament to give in to peer pressure. They will try to fit in and gain acceptance sometimes by any means necessary, thus end up becoming addicted. This applies especially to youth and teenagers.

The temperament who gives into peer pressure can also become addicted from loneliness. The lack of social activity in their life causes stress, thus the quick fix would be to numb themselves with drugs or alcohol.

The substance itself

Studies show that some substances have a much higher chance of bringing about risks to addiction. Some obvious ones are crack, heroin, and cocaine.

Hereditary and Family History

Think of the people in your family. Can you think of anyone who is an addict? Well, a child of an addict is 8 times more likely to develop an addiction. Many argue that the highest risks to addiction come from those who bond most with the addict. Children of alcoholics are 6 times more likely to develop problems with alcoholism. Some studies show that this can be passed down genetically. Studies have also shown similarities to cigarette smoking. Some may try smoking, yet never care for it, while others become addicted. The gene’s inherited have much to do with that as the response to the nerves vary between genes.

Age

Studies have shown that depending on what age the user was exposed to the substance will give a greater indication on its addiction. For example, some alcoholics may have been exposed to alcohol at a very young age, thus created a pattern early on in life to drink, and eventually becoming full on addicts. This is not all people and all cases, but it should still be noted that the risks to addiction is raised if one is exposed at an early age.

Family behavior

People from broken and divorced homes have the highest of risks to addiction. The imbalance especially of lacking a father in the home increases the risks dramatically. The disconnection of a parent to their child has become devastating to our nation and culture.

Gender

Most addicts are male and in the US, male drug addiction beats out women 2 to 1.

Stress

The persons temperament will tell us their stress threshold and what they will do to attempt to create balance in their lives. Some temperaments have a lower threshold and will most likely resort to anything to numb their minds. Some stress hormones have shown to be linked to alcoholism.

Body metabolism

Over time, the user will need higher doses to create the same effect they experienced when they first started using. This will eventually change the way the body metabolizes a substance and will begin to change the body’s chemistry. That will usually be the beginning of the addiction. The higher the frequency and dosage, the higher the risks to addiction.

Mental illness or special condition(s)

Those who suffer from clinical depression or any other similar illness have a higher chance of becoming addicted. Many times it will be because of doctor or psychiatrist prescribes drugs that may have the side effect of habit formation or addiction. Other times, the user will attempt to numb their depression or anxiety “self-medicating” without a professionals supervision. They tend to have a higher chance of becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol.

If you feel like you or someone you know might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

The next section we’ll deal with “What causes addiction?”

Are there risks to addiction?

What are some signs of addiction?

Symptoms and Signs

Continued from our last article The fine line between addiction and habit.

When we catch a cold we feel the symptoms of the cold coming on, like a runny nose, etc. but other people you are around may not see the signs. What does that mean? Well let’s break down what the two are.

A symptom is a physical or mental feature that is regarded as indicating a condition of disease, particularly such a feature that is apparent to the individual. The indication(s) are only apparent to the individual.

A sign is an object, quality, or event whose presence/ occurrence indicates the probable presence/ occurrence of something else visible in plain view.

In our analogy of catching a cold, the symptoms would be evident to you with a runny nose or sore throat, but your friend may describe to you the signs of your cold as how you look pale or notice you sneezing.

As we explained in What is addiction?, one who is addicted would be classified as physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.

Whether the individual realizes or not, they can’t stop, even if it is physically hurting them. They may try to stop and will usually fail because the urge to continue is so strong and when it comes to substance addiction, the brain chemistry can become altered.

So how would you see the signs of a person who is dependent on a substance?

Signs of addiction

Here is a basic list of some telltale signs of a person who might be addicted. Remember that there may be variations in some people depending on what they are addicted to (drugs vs. pornography), their gender, temperament, family history, and what they are going through (grief, peer pressure, etc.)

Denial

It all starts here. When the individual denies even having a problem. Some are oblivious of the problem and others just do not want to face the fact that a problem exists. The sign here is when they say, “I can stop whenever I want.” There isn’t much that can be done to help this individual (yet).

Secret/ Vague

When questions are asked to the individual, one may get one word answers.  Everything they do is for some reason top secret.

Lonely

Some individuals want to be alone when they use as there is less pressure and they don’t have to answer to anyone which helps their case for denial.

Social issues

An individual may constantly turn down his friends or family for social gatherings. It’s easier sometimes to be alone because there’s usually a disinterest in social events or people, easier to use with less people around, and  you don’t have to explain yourself. On the other hand, if the individual has friends or family that they use with (for example : Individual goes to a child’s birthday party because they know specifically there’s going to be a keg of beer there) they won’t hesitate attending.

Sometimes they may begin to have problems with their spouse. Usually, if the spouse isn’t aware of the addiction, they will complain of not spending any time together. The distancing will cause friction in the relationship, thus add to the users problems.

Loss of interest

Many people have hobbies like music and sports. One sign can be when one becomes disinterested in their favorite pastimes. Be careful to notice if something else significant has changed like longer hours at work or a new intimate relationship.

Coping mechanism

Rather than coping like most in society, an individual may excuse themselves to “release stress” by using .

Odd Physical Conditions

An individual might blackout or have a cough attack even though they don’t have a cold. Some who have not had their “fix” for a while may begin to have mood swings, anger issues, depression, insomnia, appetite issues, seizures, sweats, confusion, or hallucinations. Other physical issues can be vomiting, diarrhea, or constipation.

Uncommon trouble

There are various issues an individual may experience, but an addict will tend to have many that seem coincidental.

One might be legal issues. Many  times, because they are often in an intoxicated state, they will do things that one who is not intoxicated may never do. Consequently, when they get in trouble with the law, they will claim that the cops are picking on them or they just got a bad judge.

Other times, individuals may begin to fall into coincidental financial trouble. Suddenly, they can no longer pay for their car, rent, etc. Why?Depending on how much they use, drugs can become expensive.

This is a very basic list and there are many other signs that exist. Some may even be evident between different demographics and cultures.

If you feel like you might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

Many don’t understand what risk an addict put themselves under. We will discuss that next.

What are some signs of addiction?

The fine line between addiction and habit

What is the difference between a habit and addiction?

Continued from our last article What is an addiction?

We brush our teeth, say “Please” and “Thank you”. These are habits that we have learned to be civil in society. Some have bad habits like nail-biting,  over spending, or procrastination.

Many can have a drink of alcohol or take an aspirin without any issue. For some these simple activities can become habits. Unfortunately, some habits turn into a compulsion thus an addiction. What once was a simple drink turns into a midnight cap which evolves into a body needing the substance. (I’ve seen this happen with soda too!)

Habits are created over a period of time. The person can freely start and stop the habit as they please. The body may want something, but the person can control the craving. The key thing here is the individual can control the urge.

Addictions, unlike habits, are uncontrollable urges that must be met. If the person has an urge they will go to measures that can cause physical damage. The mind or body will crave something and it must be fulfilled. This means that the individual is no longer in control of themselves, thus can be experiencing psychological masking, bodily cravings, or permanent brain chemical changes. With addiction, the individual has lost control.

The addicted

People become addicted for various reasons. It can start among friends with peer pressure or be introduced innocently by a doctor to numb your pain. Regardless the source, addiction can ruin a home and it’s family. It destroys futures and wrecks good relationships.

Substance abuse counseling should be sought quickly because the longer one waits, the worse and more dependent the body become to the substance. Then dependency will eventually raise the tolerance level of the individual which will lead to higher doses to create the same effect of euphoria. Once the substance no longer has an effect on the body, the individual is still forced to continue as the pain of withdrawal is too great. This can lead to depression, anxiety, anger, etc.

If you feel like you might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

What if someone you know seems to be an addict. What are some telltale signs? We will explain that next.

 

The fine line between addiction and habit

What is an addiction?

The Definition of addiction

If you look up the meaning of addiction in the dictionary, it will say, “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.”

The definition of an addict is, “a person who is addicted to a particular substance, typically an illegal drug.”

And finally, one who is addicted would be defined as, “physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.”

 

So what Is addiction?

People who are experiencing addiction tend not to have control over themselves. That means that they will have an uncontrollable urge to do or take in a substance. They are literally dependent to the substance or activity.

What really gives it away is when one does things hysterically to the point of harming themselves. The harm can come in many forms such as: lack of sleep thus missing work, being in a daze thus deeming themselves useless because they can not function normally, physical harm such as burns or track marks to say the least.

List of addictions

Here is a small list of typical drugs that many have become addicted to:

• Alcohol


• Tobacco


• Opioids (like heroin)


• Prescription drugs (sedatives, hypnotics, or anxiolytics like sleeping pills and tranquilizers)


• Cocaine


• Cannabis (marijuana)


• Amphetamines (like methamphetamine, known as meth)


• Hallucinogens


• Inhalants


• Phencyclidine (known as PCP or Angeldust)


• Other unspecified substances

Addiction is not limited to just drugs but a variety of things. Some of these may come as a surprise to you, but these too can cause feelings of guilt, shame, hopelessness, despair, failure, rejection, anxiety and/or humiliation to the addicted. They are:

• Cutting


• Exercise


• Fetishes


• Gambling


• Hand Washing


• Internet


• Love


• Money


• Overeating


• Relationships


• Religion


• Self Injurious Behaviors (SIB)


• Sex


• Shopping


• Sleep


• Spending


• Stealing


• Television


• Trichotillomania (Chronic Hair Pulling)


• Video games


• Work

This is not a comprehensive list, but is helpful to at least get an idea of some of the things people can become addicted to.

You will also notice that Prescription drugs are listed under drugs. Many think because it’s prescribed that addictions is unlikely. This is far from the truth. Your local family doctor isn’t the only person who can prescribe drugs. Many forget that psychiatrist also prescribe drugs and some can become addicted to the medication. The drug abuse epidemic is an unfortunate double-edged sword.

So where do we draw the line between addiction and habit? We will discuss that next.

If you feel like you might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

What is an addiction?

Why I don't recommend using your insurance

When people ask us if we take insurance for counseling, that indicates to us that they have been misinformed about their policies. Many do not read the fine print about what they do, cover, or protect. This is not to demean insurance companies, but rather to educate you.

Insurance. What is it good for?

Obviously a practice or arrangement by which a company or government agency provides a guarantee of compensation for specified loss, damage, illness, or death in return for payment of a premium. If you’re ill, the insurance company will compensate you or the medical provider for services rendered.

Sounds great, but what’s the catch?

There have been many cases where insurance companies will not cover couples counseling, marriage counseling, anxiety issues, depression issues, self improvement/ coaching, relationship issues, etc. You’re on your own when it comes to this.

Why? Basically, the insurance policy tends to only cover medical issues. For example: If you have the flu, you’re covered. If you fall and break your arm, you’re covered, but if you are experiencing stress at work, you may not be covered. Why? Because stress is not an illness or disease. Now, if you get ulcers because of stress, you’re covered for the ulcers.

On the other hand, some can go to a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis for an illness or disease and more than likely will be prescribed drugs to cope. We strongly discourage this for most people as drugs are only numbing the stress in your life and not dealing with it appropriately. We’ve seen cases where the drugs worsened the counselee, but let’s say you take this option.

Did you know that the insurance company dictates how long they’ll cover you? What if the psychiatrist deems you as “greatly improved” and the insurance company takes that as “patient healed”? They will stop coverage immediately and now your stranded without the appropriate help you need.

Oh by the way, if an insurance company is involved, what happens to your privacy? Rather than privacy staying between you and the counselor, an entire insurance company knows your private business not counting who else they (have to) share your information with, as they are considered “medical records”. They might be shared with other agencies, hospitals, or used in court against you.

We don’t consider insurance companies evil, but we just want you to know some of their limitations which may apply to you. Consider the necessity of your well being and the value of your privacy. At Finally Alive Counseling Ministries, we use a sliding scale to help you financially. You’d be surprised how flexible we are. Just call us and see for yourself.

Why I don't recommend using your insurance