Have too much to do? Slow down!

Many people see a counselor for anxiety, stress, and depression counseling. It’s inevitable to experience any of these, especially when we’ve experienced something traumatic in our relationships or marriage. One thing we can do is slow down.

We live in a society that is constantly about moving. Literally, a “Go!Go!Go!” society that needed the job done yesterday. We have to work, make sure dinner’s ready or eat out (but just today because we plan on eating healthier tomorrow), pick up the kids art supplies for school (Did they say red glue, blue ribbon or red ribbon, blue glue?), pick up the bosses suit (By the way, where did I put the receipt for that?), make it in time for church because one of the ushers got sick, exercise (Was it cardio today?), and the list goes on!

The worst part is that this so-called list will never shrink. There will always be one more thing you had to add or forgot to do. No wonder everyone is always stressed out and irritated! Who in their right minds would dare to slow down?Hopefully, you.

To make this point, I will use a Bible verse that many are familiar with:

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Genesis 2:2-3

God makes the rest day “Holy”. We have funny ideas about that word, but truly, all it means is to set apart. So God literally set the rest day apart from the other days. The “rest days” function is special and is completely different from the other six days.

You must ask the question, “Why would God need rest?” The answer is obvious, He doesn’t. His objective is to layout a pattern for us to follow, in this case, to rest.

So what is “rest”?

Resting is to completely stop working. This in itself feels incredibly therapeutic as you finally allow yourself to relax, feel refreshed, recover, and most importantly enjoy! It helps us to reflect, gather our thoughts, and gets us out of life’s loop for a little while. We give everything and everyone a rest in our lives, but we rarely allow the proper rest for ourselves.

Resting is life’s mini reset button.  Giving ourselves that little bit of time to have fun and enjoy some less responsibility shouldn’t be an option, it should be a requirement. That little pause that lasts a day helps you to start the week again much more alert and energetic. (If you’re not feeling alert or energetic, please talk to and individual counselor about stress and anxiety counseling.)

When we look at the pattern in the creation sequence, we see God completing His work in the six days, therefore having a seventh to rest on. This also tells us that enough of the work must have been completed to be able to afford a rest day. How important rest must be to even list it this close to the opening pages of the Bible.

Similar to rest is the art of slowing down. Can you think of times when you rushed through things? It’s not going to be the newest gadget or the next As Seen on TV novelty item (yes, I’m talking about your Shamwow) that’s going to help you manage things better so you can finally slow down. I will explain what you can do to start slowing down and different things you can do to slow down and yes, even get some rest.

Have too much to do? Slow down!

What is Grief?

More on grief counselor in Brea.

“I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.

― J.R.R. Tolkien

Grief is something that we will all experience one day or another. It is a very normal process and should not be looked down upon.

We tend to connect these feelings to the death of a loved one.

Many feel grief when a close friend moves away or stops talking to them. Others experience it when they get fired or laid off from work. How could grief be all of these and they didn’t involve anyone passing away? Honestly, it’s because many haven’t defined grief correctly.

Defining Grief

Think about what all the scenarios above had in common. A loss of a loved one, a loss of a job, and a loss of companionship. Therefore, the root cause of grief is loss.

From losing a game to losing a significant other, we’ve all lost something. The differences though is how important what we lost was.

For example, you may get sad if you lost your child’s baseball glove, but you’d grieve if you lost your child. Notice that both examples included something lost, but the intensity was defined by the degree of importance (child’s glove vs. child).

Different levels of maturity will also define how one processes grief. For example a child may grieve over their dead gold fish that they owned for a matter of hours, where the parent may complain saying, “Why haven’t you thrown the gold fish away yet?”

Grief and its course

Are there time limits on grief? How long should I grieve? What if I don’t feel like I’m grieving? What if I don’t feel like I have to grieve?

Each person will express grief in their own way and in ways they’re comfortable with. There aren’t time limits on how long one should grieve as long as the idea that “Life still goes on” is understood. This is not to be insensitive to your loss, simply the reality. 

Grieving processes will differ and could be substantially cut down with a grief counselor. This process will require that you are open, patient, as grieving doesn’t finish overnight, strong because you are facing something you don’t want to face, and supported with people such as family, friends, and counselors. 

A grief counselor will help you through this time of trouble. The friends and family will help with the grieving process to help ease your pain, but the grief counselor will help you get through and help you heal from the pain as the grief tends to bring disorientation to your life’s circumstances.

If you or someone you know might be suffering from grief, contact us now so we can talk about our Grief Counseling in Brea or Loss Counseling in Brea.

If you contact us now, your 1st session is free!

What do you have to lose?

 

Finally Alive Counseling is located in the beautiful city of Brea, CA.
Individual Counseling and Couples Counseling located near Fullerton, Placentia, Yorba Linda, La Habra, Rowland Heights, Anaheim, and Anaheim Hills.

What is Grief?

5 Reasons why you're going to fail

In life we will go through many trials, but some people have a better way of handling it. In counseling I’m able to see them all and have begun to see a pattern of why some people will always be a failure.

Here are five:

1. The lacking planner

We’ve heard the saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail”. That couldn’t be truer in some couples counseling sessions.

Many times I’ve asked couples what their goal in counseling is and they both give me a blank stare. It’s obvious that having a goal was never a goal.

2. The Articulate Critic

Have you ever experienced a person who was never happy? You know the one that always has an excuse or has an opinion about everything.

How about those that are impossible to please. You go to a restaurant, they order a burger, and give the waiter specific instructions on how to cook the meat (as if the cook has never done this). Of course, when they get their food, they’re disgusted and outraged on why they didn’t cook it right.

Well, I call this person the Articulate Critic. I have been criticized for my clothes and other facets. Why doesn’t it drive me crazy? Because they’re scared, so their defenses are on high. It’s a protecting mechanism, but more importantly, they have created a path out of counseling.

This critic will articulate everything that is horrible about you to avoid the real problem, themselves. Some will even stop coming to counseling because, “If the counselor was closer to my work”, “If the counselor was younger/ older so they can relate to me”, or “If the counselor wouldn’t wear that, I could take them more seriously”. Very articulate, but no substance to the argument.

3. The Hopeless romantic

“But we were made for each other.” “God put this person in my path because…” and we can go on forever.

I call these Hopeless Romantics because everything sounds like a movie quote or some novel. Here’s the issue with this; their sources are movies and novels, not real life!

4. The Webmd professor

I know we all go online to self (mis)diagnose and as we do that, we begin to learn new terms and definitions. Then we also like to take this (mis)information and pretend we’ve just magically bypassed any type of formal schooling because we’ve read the entire paragraph which makes us experts.

OK, you see the satire, but it doesn’t make it any less true. We’re all guilty of this and that becomes our folly. As great as these websites are, they’re in no way a formal diagnosis and can lead you down a worse path.

5. The Love Doctors groupie

There are some wonderful books out their about any subject under the sun. The only problem is that many books are like conversations that you walked in on. You don’t know how or why it started. Sure, you can get the gist of it, but many times, you miss an important point, and now your misunderstanding has given birth to a rumor.

I highly recommend reading books, but don’t forget most self-help books are written to a general audience, thus some important aspects may not be mentioned or may be completely ignored.

I hope you see that this isn’t meant to put people down, but rather educate you, the reader. Life can be intimidating and the key is to face the facts and prevent being a loser.

If you or someone you know might be suffering, contact us now so we can talk about our Individual Counseling in Brea or Couples Counseling in Brea . 

If you contact us now, your 1st session is free!

What do you have to lose?

 

Finally Alive Counseling is located in the beautiful city of Brea, CA.

Individual Counseling and Couples Counseling located near Fullerton, Placentia, Yorba Linda, La Habra, Rowland Heights, Anaheim, and Anaheim Hills.

5 Reasons why you're going to fail

Affordable Counseling for College Students

College Students can now receive Affordable Counseling!

Finally Alive Counseling is happy to announce an affordable alternative to counseling for college students. You, as a college student, will receive the same help and care any of our other counselee’s receive at a discounted price.

If you are suffering with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or anger, individual counseling is available for you!

If you are experiencing problems with your relationships, we’re also offering couples counseling for college students.

The care that you need is here and now, it’s affordable. You have no more excuses!

Current Schools added!
Counseling for Cal State Fullerton | Counseling for Fullerton College | Counseling for Mt. Sac | Counseling for Cal Poly Pomona | Counseling for Biola University | Counseling for Devry University

If you don’t see your school listed, please call us anyway.

Contact us now! (626)244-8113

Finally Alive Counseling Ministries in Brea, CA, 92821. Minutes away from Fullerton, Placentia, Yorba Linda, La Habra, Rowland Heights, Anaheim, and Anaheim Hills.

Remember, your first visit will be complimentary.

Affordable Counseling for College Students

Finally Alive Counseling will be at The Brea Wellness Festival 2014

Wellness Festival 2014

Finally Alive Counseling is pleased to announce that they will be attending the Wellness Festival in the beautiful city of Brea on September 27, 2014. They will be passing out information on our individual counseling and couples counseling/ marriage counseling services. Come by and say, “Hi!” They’ll be located at space 62.

<Shared from the Wellness Festival>

The City of Brea’s Wellness Festival

Wellness Festival

The City of Brea proudly presents the return of its Wellness Festival on Saturday, September 27 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Brea Community Center. The event will showcase a variety of specialties, free medical screenings, cutting edge fitness trends, alternative and holistic medicine, free massages, heart healthy food samples and a Zumba Jam at 2 p.m. Flu shots will also be available for $15.

Admission and parking for the event are FREE.

Wellness Festival Exclusives
Come to the Wellness Festival to purchase these sensational savings! Save up to 25% off on select fitness programs. From a 3-month fitness pass for only $60 to TRX, Boot Camp, massage and more. They’re only available for purchase at the Wellness Festival.

Click here to download and print your coupons.

 

Finally Alive Counseling will be at The Brea Wellness Festival 2014

Why Do I Always End Up in Bad Relationships?

Bad Relationships

Whether it was a friend or our own, we’ve seen bad relationships time after time. It’s almost paradoxical how this happens. You know when you see a friend in a horrible relationship where there’s more giving then receiving or even some who are in a terribly abusive one and you just can’t figure out why they won’t leave. You think, “at least get some help or something!”, but of course they don’t and they stay miserable, eventually break up or divorce.

Jack and Jill’s relationship…

Jack goes to work and gets yelled at by his boss. Jill works and takes care of the kids, yet Jack is always finding something else to get mad at. Finally, one day Jack comes home after a fight at work. Jill has dinner prepared and Jack goes into a tirade because the food wasn’t precisely the temperature he likes it. He also adds that Jill always overdoes the steamed vegetables and insists that she go learn to cook from his mother.

Jill now begins to stew on the fact that she’s given her all into this relationship. She has worked because Jack’s career isn’t making ends meet, she’s helped raise two wonderful kids, and still makes time to get her chores that Jack promises every week to do. She’s now furious and feels lost and alone. She says, “He’ll never appreciate all I do for him.”

I’ve seen many come into couples counseling/ marriage counseling and ask, “Why do I stay or go back into bad relationships?”

A healthy relationship has many properties, but one of the main characteristics is freedom.

When you’re in a relationship, there must be freedom to act, do, or feel. It’s when you can’t do or talk about certain things that begins to hinder the relationship. We’ve all seen or experienced feeling suffocated in a relationship. This is because the freedom is limited, now joy is depleting, thus you are now stuck in a stagnant relationship.

When I talk about being free, I don’t mean free in the sense of becoming promiscuous or taking up a hobby in drug paraphernalia. That would be a lustful freedom, not loving. An individual must feel free to talk about most subjects, and have a mutual agreement on most things.

Why don’t all couples want to be free?

Usually, it’s not the couple who chooses to live restrained, it’s an individual. Perhaps they have felt abandoned, misunderstood, or rejected. Now they are suffering by guarding themselves rather than talking to an individual counselor and dealing with the problems. This person will be in a downward spiral for the rest of their lives because they choose to live in shackles called “lies”, unless they seek the proper help.

Here’s a dead giveaway of a relationship in shackles: abnormally strict rules and “we don’t talk about that”. The strict rules keeps things from getting too exciting so nothing unexpected can happen. “We don’t talk about that” is just that. We don’t mention those things because it makes the other person uncomfortable, so we can never get it resolved.

Some prefer shackles over being alone. This is why we see so many people living in abusive relationships. They have been manipulated into believing that being alone will hurt more than the abusive relationship. What an absolute lie!

We all deserve to be happy, but only if we are willing to face the facts. It’s possible to have good, happy, healthy relationships. You just have to reach out to someone who will help.

If you or someone you know might be suffering in their relationship, contact us now so we can talk about our Couples Counseling in Brea or Marriage Counseling in Brea. 

If you contact us now, your 1st session is free!

What do you have to lose?

 

Finally Alive Counseling is located in the beautiful city of Brea, CA.

Why Do I Always End Up in Bad Relationships?

Can addiction be treated?

Treatment for Addiction

One of the hardest things a person with an addiction must do is admit. Admitting to their problems, their faults, and most importantly, that they are addicted. Once this has been established, now they must get the appropriate help that’s required. You can find all sorts of different ways of getting help from personal therapy to group therapy.

Depending on your circumstances, what you’re addicted to and how long, will dictate what sort of treatment you need from the following:

Addiction classes

You can find classes that teach you about different substances. This knowledge can be a bit of a wake up call for the user as to see what will happen to them, their body, and their lives if they continue on their path. This could be more suitable for youth and those who have become addicted more recently.

Treatment Centers

Treatment centers for addiction may have an inpatient option where you can stay there. It’s like a hotel to get sober and relapse prevention. They tend to have 24 hour staff to meet your any needs. It all depends on how much, how long, and what level of addiction one may be at.

Group Therapy

These are you Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. This type of therapy tends not to have an inpatient option. Typically, you will have a group of people with similar addictions come into a room to learn and share their experiences in life and their addictions. This is quite an eye opener and comforting for those who choose to join it as you no longer feel like you’re the only one going through this alone.

One on One Addiction Counseling

This tends to be one of the best options. An addiction counselor will be trained to help you with what you need and how you need it. Our treatment for addiction takes into account the persons innate nature, character, and habits to give the counselee a “full treatment”. Different people have different triggers to relapse and we take those into consideration too.

If you or someone you know might be suffering from an addiction, contact us now so we can talk about our addiction counseling in Brea. Your first visit will be complimentary.

Similar topics:

What is an addiction? | The fine line between addiction and habit | What are some signs of addiction? | Are there risks to addiction? | What could be the causes of addiction? | Can my addiction be diagnosed? | Criteria for Substance Abuse for Dependency | Can addiction be treated?

Can addiction be treated?